Mercedes: "We hope this black car will finally erase our Nazi history"

Mercedes have announced that its F1 cars will race in an all-black livery this season to highlight its pledge to improve diversity and, most importantly, sweep all that unsavoury Nazi history under the rug once and for all.

The German automobile manufacturer released a statement today, announcing the replacement of its trademark 'Silver Arrow' trim with a black base to show not only solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, but just how far the company has come since it made cars for Adolf Hitler and army vehicles for the Nazi army.

"For 2020, we have chosen to race in an all-black base livery as a public pledge to improve the diversity of our team - and a clear statement that we stand against racism and all forms of discrimination," said a Mercedes statement.

"It is our hope that with this amazing paint job, which took a serious amount of design work and months of lobbying by the 3% of our workforce from minority backgrounds, all that malarkey with the Nazis can finally be forgotten. Just look how slick and non-Aryan it is.

"Yes, we made thousands and thousands of military vehicles for them, as well as some gorgeous cars for the Fuhrer himself, and owe much of our success to the deep pockets of the Third Reich, but we really are trying.

"The only black racer in Formula 1 is in our team and we pay him a shed load of money for winning us titles. Surely, that does enough to cancel out the 63,610 concentration camp detainees, prisoners of war and forced labourers we used during the war?

"Oh, and the SS lieutenant we hired after the war, Adolf Eichmann; if you could forget about him too, we'd be ever so grateful. In the meantime, we will keep working to increase that 3% to maybe 4% or 5% within the next 50 years. It's time for slow, meandering change."

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