Men forced to go shopping with wives after coronavirus cancels sports

With almost every major sport being cancelled or postponed due to coronavirus fears, men everywhere are being forced to go shopping with their wives this weekend, it has emerged.

The deadly virus sweeping the globe has put a halt to most major sporting events for the next few weeks, including the Premier League, the ATP tennis tour, the NBA, Formula One races, all PGA Tour golf events and so on.

With no sports to watch, stuck for excuses and still in shock from the news, men everywhere are being forced to spend time with their wives at the weekend for, in some cases, the first time in years.

Mark Fielder, lifelong football fan and husband to Jane Fielder for 23 years, had this to say:

"Normally when the wife asks me to do anything at the weekend I just say 'can't, watching the game', but this week I was just flummoxed.

"She didn't even ask this time, just said 'right, we're going shopping', because she knew. She knew I had nothing going on, nothing to do. No football or anything. I just stood there with my jaw open trying to think of an excuse, but no words would come out. She had me.

"After I'd gathered my thoughts in the car, I told her that it's not safe to go to a place packed full of people with a virus going round, but she just didn't care. She said she just needed to 'get some bits' and then we'd leave.

"We've been here three hours already and only been in four shops. Please, just kill me."

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