Bale: "If I don't get Spanish culture, how come I love siestas?"

Newly crowned La Liga champion Gareth Bale has hit back at critics, following yet more suggestions he has failed to adapt the Spanish way of life.

"Name me one other footballer, Spanish or foreign, who loves siestas so much that they take them during actual matches," Bale challenged our interviewer during a game of golf.

"As for those who say I've disappointed as a player, I have literally won the league in my sleep," the Welsh winger laughed. "And that's while prioritising Wales and a whole other sport over the team I play for. I'd like to see Cristiano try that. All that preening twat does is think about football, and we've still won the league without him.

The Madrid outcast, relegated to the bench by manager and arch-enemy Zinedine Zidane, refused to accept any criticism over the amount of time he spends on local golf courses.

"Last time I checked, golf is a popular Spanish hobby," Bale claimed, as he lined up a nine-iron. "I'm just doing my best to fit in with the community. "And when I go to China next season, I'll probably spend most of my time playing table-tennis."

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